The Formula
This article is one part of a three part “Formula” that can be used separately or combined in any order. Each part is broken down into three sub-parts that can also be used independently. “Goals, Failure, and Learning” & “Happiness, Gratitude, and Routine” are the other two parts of the formula. This “Formula” when worked in its entirety can lead to profound effects on your life.
As you work through these exercises, things will start to become clearer and clearer. The more overlap you can create from each part, the stronger your vision will become. That strength of purpose comes from clarity. The clarity comes from the self-awareness you create by working the parts of the “Formula.”
In “Belief, Value, and Action” you learn how you came to be who you are today and release yourself from the things holding you back. “Goals, Failure, and Learning” will give you the ability to handle anything the world can throw at you and use it to accelerate life. Last but not least, “Happiness, Gratitude, and Routine” you will discover what truly makes you happy and how to make that happiness part of every day.
Belief, Value, and Action
Your current beliefs, values, and actions have already taken you as far as you can go. If you want more out of life, you need to take on new beliefs and values followed by action. That’s what this article is all about. How to become self-aware of your beliefs, your values, and your actions using simple, but not easy thought exercises. This article will give you the blueprint to become self-aware and change the pieces you want to change helping you create the person and life you have always wanted.
Before we get into the blueprint lets recognize that our minds are designed to protect us. We are literally hard wired to avoid pain, and change is painful. Your mind will feed you thoughts and feelings designed to keep everything the same because your current state is comfortable. Even if it’s not ideal for you, your current state is predictable, which makes it safe and we are all hard wired to feel safe. Be aware as you work through the thought exercises you will be your own worst enemy. The exercises are designed with this in mind and have steps to teach you how to overcome this.
Belief
Humans lead with belief. Your beliefs in large part control your thoughts, emotions, and actions which in turn dictates your results which reinforce your beliefs. If a belief is limiting or does not help you, it can be changed. You can choose what to believe. Once you see your belief as a lie, your mind immediately starts to restructure its thoughts. Repetition with feeling will reinforce a new belief and solidify it in time.
This is not a quick fix to make all your wildest dreams come true. This is a journey of self-discovery. Do not make the mistake of judging yourself or writing things the way your think they should be. The unfortunate truth is most of us will start off by listing things that we think we should believe or worse, what we think other people would say you should believe. Put your ego away, clear your head, and search for your truth. It may not all be nice; it may even make you feel ashamed. Get it out, write it down, and own it. You can’t change what you can’t or refuse to see, and what you don’t see will hurt you. If there is an area in your life you are not satisfied with, it will be rooted in your beliefs. Dive deep and bring to the surface the beliefs that are limiting you. If you want to move forward, you must first go deeper. Remember this phrase. I must go 3 steps deep to go 3 steps forward. Say it again, I must go 3 steps deep to go 3 steps forward.
Values
People make the mistake of believing that values are empirical truths and don’t realize your values are a choice. Your values are shaped by many things. Your environment, how you grew up, your parent’s behaviors, etc. All of this happens automatically throughout life, and you don’t give it much thought. This exercise will help you step back and first realize you can choose what to value. Second, learn how to become aware of your current values and finally how to change them.
We have all had the experience in life that we wish we cared about something that we don’t or the opposite; we wish we didn’t care about something that we do. The reality is you can’t just flip a switch and care about something or stop caring about something. Now the question becomes, how do you create new values?
Actions
You’ve got bills to pay, things to do, lots of chores to complete and errands to run. You don’t have enough money; you don’t have time; you don’t know how to get started; you don’t have a car; you don’t have the gas money; you are not smart enough; you don’t have the confidence. The most insidious thing about excuses is they are valid. That’s the rub. Because they are valid, they need to be considered when making a change. It’s your obligation to take action in your right direction, which will include overcoming the obstacles you may have.
Everyone has been stuck in that place between thought and action. The way to start moving is to get very clear on what you want. You need to have good self-awareness to know what you want. Download the worksheet and get to work. Just thinking about making positive change feels good. Most people stop there. They get a dopamine hit by reading or watching something about how to make a positive change and this feels good for a little while and then do it again the next day. They never actually get started. Follow the law of GOYA! GET OFF YOUR ASS!
All high achievers have three things in common. They believe in themselves, their vision, and they practice hard. They use grit to get results instead of wishing they had talent. Hard work will beat talent when talent doesn’t work hard. It doesn’t matter where you start, it only matters where you are going and what you are willing to do to get there.
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, NOT on fighting the old, but on building the new. When your goals don’t excite you as much as your lizard brain desires to just chill, you won’t move. People waffle through life and wonder why they’re losing or not progressing. Here’s the hard truth, you don’t want it badly enough. If you did, you’d get your shit together and march forward like a person possessed. Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change. The moment you stop treating your goals like an option and start treating them like your responsibility, is the moment you start to succeed.
I’ll leave you with this bit of inspiration. Refuse to be one of the small people that clutch on, like it’s a life raft, to the word impossible. Who find solace and comfort in believing they can’t do something because it means they never have to try. Go out and suck at something. Not only find the limits of your capabilities, but push them back, and redefine for everyone the very notion of what’s possible.